


the height of your stupidity

by BookFangirlMaryJane



Series: Thoschei Spyvember Prompts [10]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Spoilers, Spyvember Prompts (Doctor Who), Thoschei, the Doctor is in denial, the Master is blissfully gleeful, the fam and Jack are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27739666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookFangirlMaryJane/pseuds/BookFangirlMaryJane
Summary: "You know what I really love about this new body of yours?""What?""You're finally shorter than me.""I am not!"--o--Written for Spyvember (by ineternity and Valc0), prompt was 'Height Differences'.Warnings: spoilers for series 12, also tooth-rotting fluff and humor.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Series: Thoschei Spyvember Prompts [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017984
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	the height of your stupidity

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just me going 'The Doctor is one inch shorter than the Master. He would totally lord that over her. This is gonna be hilarious!'
> 
> Spoilers for series 12.
> 
> I don't know exactly how they got here but they are very much a happy family living on the TARDIS, only occasionally bickering. No death threats. Just cuteness.

“You know what I really love about this new body of yours?” the Master asks with a lazy grin, running his fingers through her hair in slow, gentle motions. The Doctor doesn’t bother to open her eyes from where she's lying his lap as she asks: “What?”

His smirk is audible. “You’re finally shorter than me.”

Her head comes up so fast she almost headbutts him right in the face. “I am **not**!” she yelps, outrage and disbelief in her voice. He just raises a brow at her and his smirk widens. With a huff the Doctor gets off the sofa and pulls him up with her.

They’re standing opposite each other and the Master is still grinning. She hates it. She’s not shorter than him. She **isn't**. ~~But, looking at him right now, she can’t help but admit that she has to look up, a tiny bit.~~ This is not happening. He is **not** taller than her!

“You are **not** taller than me.”

The Master grins ~~down~~ at her. “Face it, luv, I am.”

She’s not facing anything. He’s delusional. “You’re delusional. You’re not taller.”

They stand there, the Doctor glaring and the Master smirking. She’s not shorter. He’s not taller. That’s not happening.

A voice from the door interrupts their silent staring contest: “What are you two arguing about?”

It’s Ryan, looking back and forth between them in hesitant confusion.

The Doctor turns to him and smiles wide. “Ryan! You can help me!”

She ignores the way he apprehensively shifts backwards. “Ah, I was going to do… a thing.” But she’s already by his side and pulls him towards the sofa.

“I need you to measure the two of us and tell me that I’m right and the Master is wrong,” she explains. The Master quickly interjects: “She means she wants you to confirm that I’m taller than her, thus proving **me** right and **her** wrong.”

Ryan stares at them for a moment of baffled silence, then turns to the Doctor. “You… you want me to measure you? To tell you which one of you is taller?”

She nods and smiles wide.

“Yeah, no offense, Doctor, but I can see from here that he’s definitely taller than you.”

Her smile drops right off. “What! No, he’s not!” she protests as the Master lets out a bark of laughter. “See, even your friends agree with me!”

She narrows her eyes, looking between the two men. “He’s **not** taller!”

“Do you want me to get the others to make sure you’re absolutely wrong?” Ryan asks, a cheeky grin spreading on his face. “And if you still don’t believe us, I suppose we could measure you.”

“Yes! Yes, let’s measure it. Then you’ll see how wrong you are!” the Doctor exclaims and storms off, in search of a measuring tape. Five minutes later she returns to the library to find her whole fam plus Jack and the Master inside, all of them sporting grins.

“Doctor, you don’t **seriously** think you’re taller than him, right?” Jack asks with a laugh. She glares at him and hands the measuring tape over to Graham. “Well, we’re about to find out. Graham, if you would.”

She steps behind the Master and turns her back towards him, walks backwards until their heads rest against each other. She waits patiently, if a bit nervously, for Graham to finish.

“Well, I hate to tell you this, Doc, but he’s a whole inch taller than you,” he eventually says. The Doctor’s face falls. “What? No, that’s… that’s not fair!” Why does he get to be taller than her?! Her lips pull into a ~~pout~~ frown.

With a snort, the Master pulls her into his arms. “I think it’s incredibly unfair that you’ve been taller than me every single previous regeneration. This is only fair.”

She can’t quite keep the pout from her voice when she replies: “But it’s completely unfair that you get to be taller when I’m still not ginger!”

Yaz chuckles. The Doctor looks at her and she grins. “Sorry, just tried to imagine you with red hair. It’s a pretty funny image.”

Without her consent, her lip twitches. “Alright, maybe that’s true.” Then she pokes the Master. “Doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like that you’re… apparently, one inch taller.” Admitting it out loud feels awful. Maybe she should invest in some high-soled shoes…

He lowers his head slightly and says with a grin: “Well, I like it.” And then he presses a kiss to her lips and alright, yes, maybe that’s a perk, the Doctor thinks as she surges up onto her tiptoes a little to adequately kiss him back.

Jack wolf-whistles, drawing them apart again. He’s grinning wide at the two of them and fanning air at himself with his hand. “Whew, you two should get a room!”

Ryan looks like he agrees, although he’s far more embarrassed about it. Graham and Yaz simply look resigned. With a blush, the Doctor grins at them. “Sorry.”

“I’m not,” the Master says, taking her hand and pulling her towards the door. “Harkness, that’s the best idea you’ve come up with so far. If you’ll excuse us…” And they’re out of the room, Jack’s whoop of glee following them down the hall until the door to their room slams shut behind them.

** The End **

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't think of a better title. Sorry.
> 
> This is really short, but to be honest, I like it like this. It's just some fluffy humor and them being very domestic and cute. (Any longer and I bet I could've turned it angsty...)
> 
> Jack and the fam are there. I don't know why. They travel together and none of them is angry at the Master anymore. Maybe he did something to show them he's nice (maybe he saved the Doctor from prison, that sounds plausible...) I don't know. They're there.
> 
> I hope I get the one for tomorrow done in time. So far I only have the premise and know it's going to be angsty. Welp. At least I gave you some nice fluff today?
> 
> Stay safe, everyone! Wear your masks! Ship Thoschei!


End file.
